Mystic Tingle
by Measer
Summary: Gary has a couple of run ins with Crumb.


  
Mystic Tingle  
By Measer  
  
Disclaimer: Early Edition, its characters and whatever else   
are owned by Tristar and CBS. No copyright infringement is   
intended and no money is, was or ever will be made off of   
this.   
  
But this little ditty is mine... all mine... that's right   
blame me!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"... as citizens of the city we must do our part..."  
The alarm clock goes off waking our hero with a big heart,  
He gets tomorrow's paper, which sets him apart.  
As the sun rises in the city, a new day is coming to a start.  
  
Picking up the paper which daily hits his door.  
Getting tomorrow's newspaper a day before,  
the occupant of room 1611 doesn't know what is in store.  
He knows one thing for sure, his day will not be a bore.  
  
Exiting the hotel, he wasn't paying attention to his path.  
Accidentally bumping into someone, he gave them a coffee bath.  
He quickly apologized not wanting to incur their wrath.  
He looked up and saw Crumb, cleaning the aftermath.  
  
Realizing who each other was, they stood perfectly still.  
Gary quickly apologized, "I'm sorry, just send me the bill.  
It was not my intention to make your coffee spill.  
Look there's a coffee shop, I'll go get you a refill."  
  
Crumb replied, "It's okay, Hobson. Just go on your way.  
It's partly my fault, I shouldn't have been looking away."  
Remembering about the paper, Gary realized he couldn't stay.  
He said to Crumb, "I'm sorry again. You have a good day."  
  
Sighing with relief, Crumb was just glad that Gary left.  
He had enough on his mind like arson and theft.  
The kid's skills to interfere were in great heft.  
And Gary's ability to give Crumb a headache was indeed deft.  
  
Crumb can come off as gruff, rough, grouchy and mean,  
Working at the ninth precinct's detective team,  
It can be as aggravating, irritating and stressful as it seems,  
But dealing with Gary, was enough to make any cop scream.  
  
Meanwhile, Gary continued with his errands for the day.  
Like when a kid had matches and wanted to play.  
Or a man and a blender, whose hand was almost flayed.  
Then into a liquor store he did stray...  
  
The owner came over, "hey what are you doing over there, guy?"  
For his actions, Gary quickly had to come up with a why.  
He couldn't come up with a plausible answer but he had to try.  
"I have this friend who's a restaurant critic named Fry...  
  
He was telling me about your... exquisite collection of wine.  
He asked me to pick something up, I said okay fine.  
Fry gave the money for it, so we could dine.  
So I, um... took a car out here which was mine."  
  
"What kind of wine?" The owner asked calling in his bluff.  
Enter two guys who looked kind of rough,  
They started to dishevel and break a lot of stuff.  
One of the thugs angrily grabbed the owner by the cuff.  
  
Gary instantly stepped in the fray.  
He pulled the store owner away,  
as one of the shelves began to rock and sway.  
With a large crash, it finally gave way.  
  
Bottles shattered red, yellow, blue.  
And as the chaos began to subdue,  
Who's car should pull up into view,  
He's a police detective, just a little clue...  
  
Spotting Crumb, Gary hastily departed.  
Without staying for any explanations on how this thing started.  
Into a crowd of onlookers who slowly parted.  
Through the remaining crowd he quickly darted.  
  
On with his day, to a car accident because of fog,  
An asthma attack because of exhaust and smog,  
Then to a basement where a plumber almost drowns from a clog,  
Before lunch to a school where a boy chokes on a Lincoln log.  
  
He was running late after saving another kid from a truck.  
Gary saved the kid from being killed after being struck.  
But he got dirt all over his coat, which was just his luck.  
He was now late for his lunch with Marissa and Chuck.  
  
He entered McGinty's almost bumping into a waitress who rushed,  
Gary spotted his friends in a booth, talking, all hushed,  
Gary took a seat next to Marissa; he was tired and flushed,  
Chuck was about to comment on it, but Gary quickly shushed.  
  
Chuck noticed the paper next to him and began to grin,  
Taking a quick peek at the stocks, wouldn't be a big sin,  
He's just trying to make money for himself and his future kin.  
Gary smacked his hand and glared, for the way he was actin'.  
  
"This wasn't here before," Gary glanced at the paper read,  
"What is it, Gary?" Marissa asked sensing his dread.  
"In a deadly three alarm house fire, two people are found dead."  
"Whatever, Gar," Chuck said, "can you pass me the bread?"  
  
"Two people will die, don't you find that a bit disconcerting?"  
Gary asked Chuck, "Don't you think that's worth averting?  
The fire trucks won't make it because traffic was diverting,  
because of road work and traffic lights they were asserting..."  
  
Gary frowned, "I'm sorry guys but I must quickly depart,  
Two people will die in an inferno that will soon start,"  
He stood up. "As a good samaritan I must do my part."  
Chuck sighed, "Okay big guy, a ride I will impart."  
  
As they drove there, the traffic rules he only some what abide.  
Despite his complaints Chuck willingly gave Gary a ride.  
But on the ride there, Chuck did nothing but scold and chide.  
Once there Gary opened and exited from the passenger side.  
  
Gary ran into the house but was greeted by thick gray smoke,  
Upstairs, through a narrow hall, to a door he did broke,  
His eyes began to tear and sting, breathing became a joke,  
because Gary couldn't do anything but wheeze and choke.  
  
Through a hallway that was hot and narrow.  
Gary followed the voices he heard like an arrow.  
He found two guys in the bathroom with a wheelbarrow  
They spotted him and flew out the house like a sparrow.  
  
Leaving Gary in the house the two men just ran.  
Over the fence across the street into a blue van.  
Without stopping as they almost struck a crossing man,  
who was carrying a wood ceiling fan.  
  
"Hey!" Chuck hollered from his Lexus, color red.  
Thinking about his friend's welfare caused sinking dread.  
Hoping that Gary was all right and not dead.   
He headed towards the house, not waiting for the FD instead.  
  
As a crowd of spectators quickly convened,  
firefighter and police finally made it to the scene.  
The strangest thing, everything smelt like kerosene.  
It looked to be arson, set by a terrible fiend!  
  
Behind the trucks, a navy blue sedan pulled up to the curb.  
Out stepped a Detective whose work is superb.  
He spotted Chuck and instantly became perturb.  
Knowing that Gary wasn't far behind, surely disturbed.  
  
Gary stepped out of the house slightly dazed.  
He turned back to the house and looked at the fire, amazed.  
Because of the smoke his eyes were all glazed.  
As the flames burned hot and bright and danced all crazed.  
  
Crumb ran up to Gary. "Hobson, are you following me?  
Every time I turn around today there you be.  
Everywhere I show up, it's you I see.  
That doesn't exactly fill me with glee..."  
  
Gary said, "Um, Crumb I think it just a coincidence.  
I had no intention at being at any of these incidence"  
"Yeah Detective Crumb, you have no evidence,"  
Chuck injected with the utmost confidence.  
  
Crumb sighed, "look, I don't have time for your games.  
If you know who did this, just give me the names.  
Was it an accident? Or insurance fraud for false claims.  
Who set the house fire! It just didn't burst into flames!"  
  
Gary stood there and debated to himself what he could tell.  
Because paper really didn't say how the burning blaze befell.  
He had to think of something or Crumb would continue to yell.  
It looked as if Crumb was about to go off like a bombshell.  
  
"I don't know, we were just wandering by," Gary acted dumb,  
Elbowing Chuck to say something, but all he said was "Ummm..."  
Gary said, "we honestly don't know how the fire start Crumb."  
They couldn't think of anything, so Gary and Chuck just succumb.  
  
"Maybe you clown's set the house on fire," Crumb contested.  
Crumb's patience they must have completely tested,  
Cause it looked like the sight of the two, he detested,  
Because Crumb had Chuck and Gary cuffed and arrested!  
  
Now cuffed, locked up and seated in a squad car,  
The two knew that the ride there wouldn't be far,  
With mug shots taken of them like they were famous stars,  
Before they were locked and caged behind the iron bars.  
  
Gary was quiet as he was fingerprinted, mug shot and jailed,  
Chuck on the other hand cursed, scream, yelled and wailed,   
Gary waited patiently for Marissa, so they could be bailed,  
But Chuck screamed on how much Gary owed him in great detail!  
  
"This is all your fault," Chuck said, "you and that paper!  
Couldn't you just let the police and fire handle that caper!"  
Chuck griped, "now we're stuck here like flies on flypaper!  
And you've ruined my date with the beautiful interior draper."  
  
Gary wasn't listening as Chuck continued his angry rant,  
He knew he would hear it for days, so it was redundant,   
Because he knew Chuck wouldn't let it go, because he can't,  
Sometimes Chuck's selfishness could be so abundant.  
  
"I could have been at a bar or your hotel room drinking beer,"  
Chuck pace around the cell and said, "but now I'm stuck here!"  
"Sit!" A burly man said. "Or I'll give you something to fear!  
I know you!" Looking at Gary, "you helped me this year!"  
  
"I never got to thank you properly, my name is Ryan Searly..."  
Gary smiled and nodded, remembering that incident clearly,  
"He bothering you?" Ryan asked, "I'll make him pay dearly!"  
Chuck now hiding behind Gary, avoiding a beat-down just nearly.  
  
The guard came over and called, "You, Fishman, come with me!  
Detective Crumb is asking for your presence, you see.  
So stop playing around and leave your friend be.  
Hurry up so I can go on a break and have some iced tea..."  
  
The guard led Chuck upstairs to the interrogation room.  
He had been there before so he knew what to presume.  
A while ago when a man named Marley tried to bring them doom.  
Chuck shook away unpleasant memories as they began to loom.  
  
Crumb asked, "okay, what happen at the scene, Fishburn?"  
"My name is Fishman! Fishman! For your concern!  
We were in my car, got lost and had to make a U-turn,  
on the way to my Grandmother's house for a sojourn.  
  
Gary said to stop when he saw the thick gray haze,  
I vocalized my disapproval, my objections were raised.  
That didn't stop him though, he went on unfazed.  
Saying he heard someone in the house that was blazed...  
  
The truth is, we were at the wrong place at the wrong time.  
Since when did helping out become such a crime?  
Shouldn't you be out cleaning the streets of grit and grime?  
Instead of harassing innocent citizens on a tax payer's dime?"  
  
Concentration on this case Crumb couldn't achieve.  
Exiting the room, headache like you wouldn't believe.  
He wondered what he did for this punishment he did receive.  
Reaching into his pocket he took two small yellow Aleve.  
  
This particular headache started when Gary his crossed path,  
A robbery with money falling down to the street; its aftermath,  
A hostage on the roof with a crazed gun man on the wrath,  
Crumb considered it lucky, cause it could have been a blood bath.  
  
Now, he had to do something before his headache increased,  
He went to the cells to have Gary and Chuck released,  
His headache slowly and steadily began to decrease,  
Then miraculously it seemed to disappear and cease,  
  
"Hobson!" Crumb yelled from the cell door. "Just leave.  
The desk sergeant has your stuff just; Ask for Sgt. Steve,  
What you were doing there I won't even bother to conceive.  
The stories Fishburn told me I don't even believe...  
  
Mystic tingle, extra sensory precipitation, a crystal ball,  
radio signals from cavities, a long distance alien call,  
foil hats, a newspaper that tells events before they befall!"  
Crumb hollered, "I don't care, Hobson! Nope, not at all!"  
  
A bit dumbfounded, he couldn't believe what he actually heard.   
Gary laughed nervously, "Crumb, don't-- don't be absurd!"  
He wondered if Crumb knew but played dumb or just overheard,  
Or if Chuck told him the truth to prevent being a jailbird.  
  
"I really don't care, Hobson. I really don't want to know.  
Step out of the cell, grab your stuff and please, just go!  
Take Fishburn with you! I've dropped the charges on him also.   
Not another word, I don't want to hear anything-- NO, NO!"  
  
Gary stepped out of the precinct with Chuck walking beside.  
Chuck hopped into a cab, bid Gary farewell, and went for a ride.   
Gary decided to walk home just happy to be outside.  
Stopping at the crosswalk, the jaywalking rule he did abide.  
  
Almost tripping, he looked down and saw the cat in his way,  
It meowed insistently; Gary wondered what it was trying to say.  
Jumping on the control box, the cat had a message to relay,  
He knocked the paper out of Gary's hand; Gary said, "Hey!"  
  
Gary looked down at the newspaper and quickly read,  
A headline now change, -- POLICE DETECTIVE DEAD   
Yesterday Detective Marion Crumb was shot in the head!  
Shocked, he read it twice, not believing what it actually said.   
  
Gary sighed, and realized that he was partly to blame.  
The picture of the gunman was one and the same,  
as the guy he had saved earlier from the hot burning flame.  
He sighed again, wonder why his day couldn't be tame.  
  
He quickly sprinted and entered the precinct house,  
Weaving back through the crowd, like a quiet but swift mouse,  
But bumped into a lady and caused her to spill coffee on her blouse,  
She angrily yelled, "Watch where your going, you louse!"  
  
"HOBSON!" Crumb spotting Gary, began to loudly yell,   
"I told you to leave! Unless you really like that jail cell!"  
People's heads turned around and pop out off offices they dwell,  
It was just Crumb hollering, so most said "Oh well..."  
  
"I really need to talk to you about something really quick,"  
Gary began to explain, "there's this guy, his name is Rick,  
I think his last name is Smith. He's from New Brunswick.  
He's a bit on the deranged side... you know quite sick..."  
  
"I told you to leave! That I didn't want to be informed!  
About any of the conclusion you seemed to have formed,  
or about this psychic act you insist that you perform!  
I'm only warning you one time, Hobson," Crumb stormed.  
  
"Look out! He's got a gun!" Gary yelled to hordes.  
Spotting Rick, he tackled Crumb to the floorboards.  
Everybody in the bull pen came to the same accords,  
that this guy would be locked up for his discords.  
  
Two uniformed officers picked Gary up off the ground,  
slapping the metal bracelets on him for another round of impound.  
Everyone was surprised and startled; nobody made a single sound.  
That a man came in here and assaulted a cop, seem to astound.  
  
"Hey! You wait," Crumb said to Rick who turned to leave.  
"Me? I'm here to pay for parking tickets that I did receive,"  
Rick lied quickly trying to deceive,  
but Rick sensed that Crumb didn't believe.  
  
"Wait, I want to talk to you for a bit."  
Crumb pulled him to a chair. "Sit..."  
When Crumb grabbed Rick it sent him into a fit,  
as his anger and rage became instantly lit.  
  
He punched a cop in the face, and another assaulted.   
Right into a group of lawyers, who quietly consulted.  
Over a table Rick quickly vaulted.   
Trying to get to the exit, he bolted.  
  
Rick tried to grab a hostage as quick as he could.  
A couple of officers sprang into action as they should.  
They wrestled him to the ground by his hood.  
Rick's weapon fell onto the hard wood.  
  
Later, Crumb opened the cell door. "You're free to go...  
Hobson, I still don't want to know, what you know.  
Get your stuff Sgt. Steve has it in stow.  
Thanks for trying to warn me," Crumb mumbled also.  
  
Stepping out of the cell which was damp and cold,   
Gary instantly did what he was told.  
Once again freedom was a sight to behold.  
He sighed as he stood outside the precinct's threshold.  
  
Scanning the paper one more time, Gary called it a night.  
He had a tiring day of doing what's right.  
Sleeping until dawn's early light,  
then another day of excitement and fright....  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
The End  
  
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And thanks for reading!  



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